Sex is the crucial connection that keep things flowing in a marriage, not buckets of money, not a spouse's lineage, not even the edicts of religion. But my family really urged me on -- he had everything else going for him, successful parents, a good job. Figure this out before you order the wedding invitations, hire a band and book the venue. Our bodies wanted different things from one another, so what we ended up with was a horizontal battle. One year-old wife wrote me that her husband of 57 years still buys her Victoria's Secret lingerie.
There was no relief. Because even with safe sex, sex comes with responsibilities. While researching the book there was lots of sex-talk during my interviews with women in long-term marriages. I'm hardly surprised about this prevailing obsession. The response to my blog -- which is one of Huffington Post's most viewed posts ever -- re-affirmed my belief that sex matters big-time. Yet it is chemistry that you want most of all, and it is chemistry that makes the fights shorter and the relationship longer. Now I'm using some Viagra and we have sex about once a week. Feeling sexual attraction and sexually attractive is a life force like nothing else. In our 30s we once went 90 straight days having sex three times a day. After all, he knows how big your boobs are. Here is a typical letter from a year-old wife who described her "dry two decades" of matrimony: But I am still intensely physically attracted to her, and I am certain she would say the same thing. It is either there or not there, a force of nature not of your own will. I figured sex would get better. Connect with Iris at iriskrasnow. When our bodies are regularly stroked and our libido is ignited our outlook on life is hopeful and youthful, no matter how many birthdays we have had. We would fight, and then have bad sex and then fight some more. Don't you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid's pistol? Marriage means mortgages, dealing with icky in-laws, raising defiant children, getting older and larger. This business that women over 70 don't lubricate is bullshit: With a healthy sex life comes other good things, a sense of natural ease and good communication. Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you ignore those longings you might have for the same sex, and therefore don't acknowledge them. Every flaw in our marriage and in him seemed much more miserable when combined with the possibility of faking orgasms until death did we part. This way you know if your future is even going to address them. I have to tell you, sex was always very, very good. As I've traveled the country speaking to women's groups since " The Secret Lives of Wives " was published a year ago, I've fielded hundreds of questions on what it takes to stay married.
Video about why sex is good for marriage:
Sex Before Marriage Good or Bad
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